"Until, Fuck that. The world is ours"
I love movement in photos. Movement reminds me of freedom. It reminds me of just following your intuition. Some of the best photos come with no plan, just vibes. Honestly, I cannot believe I haven't shown these photos before. I took this set right before moving to Los Angeles. Ms. B and I meet up at one of my favorite places in the DFW and just created this amazing set. No Concept. No limits. Pure freedom.
You would think, just based on the photos, that there was music. There wasn't. Only the sound of the wind hitting the leaves and the water washing up on the rocky shores.
Sometimes it's just nice placing our brain on autopilot and letting our subject be. This shoot reminds me of elementary school freedom. When you're old enough to know better and know the rules, but still young enough to for the world not to scare you. The concept of fear was foreign. Where you can bask in your nativity. You smile at anything. You run up to strangers and greet them because you see the good in everyone. The world is your oyster.
The first weekend in the New Year I was shopping at Marshall's and the CUTEST little girl randomly ran up to me and just said "HAPPY NEW YEAR". She had to be about six and her adorable face, almond eyes, and raven hair just melted my heart. I don't think I smiled that hard in a long time. I mean smile from the heart. It's amazing what a simple phrase from an unsuspecting school girl can do. In that moment, it triggered something in me. Her lack of fear and love of life motivated me to change my mindset for 2021.
Where did this fear come from? When did anxiety show up? When did we lose that armor of self-confidence? When did we have time to build up armor to not let people in?
When did all this happen?
The year 2020 gave me so much time to think. 2020 Gave the GIFT of time.
My conclusion:
I'm tired
I'm tired of people trying to be my "savior". I don't need saving.
I'm tired of people projecting their insecurities on me.
I'm tired of dulling my star because I wanted everyone to feel like they could shine.
I'm tired of working for other people.
I'm tired of laziness.
I'm tired of not letting anyone in
I'm tired of letting myself go.
I'm tired of letting my previous experience with past lovers make me not want to deal with other people.
I'm tired of being mad that I let someone steal my nativity away. I still think about this from time to time.
I'm tired of fear.
I'm tired of doing the same shit.
Y'all I'm exhausted.
Right before New Years', I had POWER by Kanye playing on repeat for at least two days straight. There is a lyric in that song that struck a chord with me. I have heard this versus at least 500 times, but the days before New Years' it resonated in a way that it hasn't before.
"I'm taking my inner child, and I'm fighting for custody"
In 2021 I'm saying:
Fuck Fear
Fuck the Rules
Fuck Laziness
Fuckkkkkkkkk Anxiety
Fuck Not Taking Chances
Fuck following the status quo
Fuck not drinking enough water
Fuck not being open to receiving love
Thank you to the person who stole my naivety
Fuck dulling my star. I'm going to shine like the sun
I'm following my intuition in 2021.
I want to feel how Ms. B looked during this session. Free... free from all social norms. Free from rules set up by other people. From anxiety. Just Free.
Mostly, free from my self imposed limits.
Now that I think about it, that beautiful little girl that ran up to me was a sign. Look for them everywhere, the Alchemist.
I'm permitting myself to be myself, unapologetically.
Fight for your POWER in 2021.
