7 Effective Ways to Stop Being a Hater

Don’t lie to yourself.  At some point in all our lives we have hated on someone else  for absolutely no reason.  Well, we had a reason.  We felt that the person was better in (insert given interest here).  Because we saw that person having more success we began to hate on them.  We hate because we are jealous over what they have because we think we deserve it more.  

I’m here to tell you...

Just get over it!  Stop being a hater. Stop wasting away the precious seconds of your life by taking the time to hate on someone else’s life.  You have no idea what it took for that person to get there. Even if you think you do being bitter doesn’t do anything for you anyway.  You are wasting good time and energy but choosing to hate one someone else. This takes away what you could be doing to get better.

Today I give you 7 ways to stop being a hater and begin getting better.

1. Take Workshops:  

You want to get better at something?  Take classes from people who are better at it than you.  Think you have a great business but no one is seeing your work? Take a marketing class.  You’re not the best runner?  Join a runner’s class.  Taking workshops are beneficial to you for many reasons.  

One, you can meet people who may have gone through the sames issues as you.  Taking a workshop allows you to have the opportunity to bounce idea off each person to see what’s working and what isn’t working.  The leader of the group may serve to be a great mentor for you.  It’s great to have someone that is a veteran in the field that you can go to for guidance and direction.  

Second, workshops are great for networking.  Going to a workshop puts you around like minded people who may have the same goals as you.  Let me tell you from firsthand experience that being around people who share the same goals as you is very enlightening and liberating.  You feel as though you have found your tribe.  

   2. Watch YouTube  

Can’t afford a workshop just yet?  Well, check out youtube.  You can find just about ANYTHING on YouTube.  Everyone has tutorials on anything that you are looking to learn.  The world is different now.   The internet has been the one thing that really connects people around the world.  Youtube can be used as virtual classroom.  There are so many people on YouTube who want to teach.  And just about everyone has access to smartphones. There is literally no excuse why you can't get on YouTube and use that as a resource to hone your craft.  Many YouTubers are really nice and approachable so don’t be scared to reach out to them.

   3. Get a Mentor:

 I know I touched a bit on this in point one, but getting a mentor is not a mute point.  Finding a mentor may be a slow and hard process, but it’s great to have a confidant you can approach and get their valued opinions on issues in your field of interest..  Mentors have the potential to be lifelong friends.  They also come with their one set of contacts and networking groups that you can be apart of .  

Let me tell you, the second most important thing to have in business is a good set of people you can network with.  The first?  A good product, idea, or service.  Forbes has an outstanding article on why having a mentor is the best investment you can make for your brand.

4. Practice Everyday

  Listen, you want to be the best in your field?  You have to practice at it everyday.  The people who are truly successful at what they do fully emerge themselves in their interest  They find ways to prioritize their dreams and goals.  For me I HAVE to shoot all the time.  When I’m not shooting I feel like I’m having withdrawals.  Also, I’m subscribed to a ton of magazine.  I study magazine ads and editorials by looking for trends and studying lighting.  I also use Facebook as a resource.  Personally, I like a bunch of groups that deal with boudoir and photography.  I read blog after blog several times a week to get better at what I do.  I have to see what people are doing and how I can be that much better than them.  In fact, I  shoot with friends over and over again so I can test out different ideas, techniques, and editing styles.  Photography and boudoir are my life.  This is what I’m into.

 You have to be FULLY and I mean FULLY commit to whatever your craft is.  To do that you MUST practice this 8 days a week.  What do you mean there are only 7 days in a week? I say this because when it comes to perfection of what you do there are no days off.

5. Make A Goal or a Challenge

The best thing you can is challenge yourself to get better. For example, I knew I was struggling with the fitness thing.  I have a full time job and I do the photography full time.  I began to notice that my dog and I were both packing on the pounds… but I just let it go excusing my lack of exercise on having no time.  Then one night I  read an Instagram post from one of my favorite Dallas personal trainers that changed my outlook.  Ngata Fitness always  gives Instagram followers background information up of the people he trains.  He does this because he wants to prove that no one should have an excuse for being lazy and not live a full life.  

One of his clients is a  lady who is a mother of of 5 who works two jobs AND still has the time to go to school full time pursuing bachelor's degree.  If that wasn’t enough on her plate she was still able to find 90 minutes in her day to work out.  Yes, she looks amazing.  So honestly… what’s my excuse?  That’s why for the next 100 days I challenged myself to walk at least 1 mile. I know, that doesn’t sound like a whole lot… but it’s a lot better what I was doing before, not a dayum thing.  

To to do this challenge I had to find ways to prioritize everything in my life.  I’m not trying to be the best runner in the world.  I just need  to make sure I am running so I can foster a healthy lifestyle.  In fact, if you want please join me on the 100 day challenge click HERE!

6. Separate Yourself from the Self Doubt 

Even the best of us fall victim to that voice of self doubt in our head.  Self doubt is the biggest dream killer since the dawn of time.  However, we have to remember a couple of things in order to conquer self doubt.  

One, a lot of people give up on their dreams because “It will take too long” and they feel like they are going to fail.  Listen, the time will pass anyway.  Why don’t you do something that's going to help build a beautiful more peaceful life for yourself?  Why waste time doubting yourself?  Sometime the first thing you have to do is just jump in feet first.  

Two, don’t place hurtles up before you even start the race. Listen, the race is not going to be easy, but let other people put up roadblocks.  Don’t put the roadblocks up yourself.  Doubting yourself is a form of self sabotage. If you are really serious about your goals then you need to let go of that voice in your head and push full steam ahead.

7. Never Become Complacent

 YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! in my Nicki Minaj voice! NEVER become complacent with yourself.  A big part of being a hater is seeing someone doing something different and innovative while you lag behind because your still doing the same ole thing.  Being flexible and embracing change will help you to become more innovative in your style and approach.  Elite Daily had a great article on why complacency will ruin your life.

What do We Do when We have Our Own Hater?

As a bonus I have to include one of my favorite stand up bits by comedian Katt Williams.  It’s about haters.   Katt Williams lets us know that we should not be distracted or intimidated by our haters we need to own them.

In the End...

I know this article was super long, but I hope these 7 ways helped you figure out how to stop being bitter and gave you ideas on how to get better. Please don’t waste your time hating on the next person.  In fact, do yourself a favor by congratulating them on a job well done.   Study the moves they made an then figure out how to do it better. Fuck being bitter.  Bitter doesn't make you smarter, faster, or more popular.  However, getting better does.  

I know this was a long one, but I have a CONTEST connected to this post.  I’m the comments below please let me know which point you liked the most or let me know a point I may have missed.  The winner will get a free $50 gift certificate to Victoria’s Secret!  Contest ending July 31st at 11:59AM.

July Boudoir Fitness Month

Your health is the most important thing you can have.  

Sometimes we only realize this when we get incredibly sick.  However, we should keep in mind that whatever we place in our body today will affect us tomorrow.

The Last 10 Pounds.

One of the most common excuses I hear from women for why they can't do a boudoir session right away is because they just need to loose that "last 10 pounds." While I don't agree with that statement I do understand it. 

Being healthy is important because it helps you both physically and mentally.  This is what our July focus is boudoir fitness.  

I also wanted to note some changes.  Instead of posting three times a week.  I will now be posting Monday - Thursday beginning next next.  However, during this 100 day running period on every Friday or Saturday I will post a review of my workouts and running schedule.  I will also review what I ate and I will be perfectly honest with you.  I'm also debating on if I should do a before and after shot of my body.  In fact I will probably just do that.  I will even announce my weight to the world.  At the end of this exercise I will write a full post on my experience.

 
Some of the topics we will discuss include how food is the most important element to your fitness regimen, the best exercises for your target areas, why you won't bulk up while exercising, and other amazing topics.  

I can't wait until we discuss this more in the future!

If I'm going to be honest with you guys I have to tell you that I'm already 11 days into my hundred day challenge.  This 100 day challenge is to make sure that I at least walk 1 mile everyday for the next 100 days.  I need to start becoming more accountable when it comes to living a healthy lifestyle.

I can't wait to do this journey with you guys and see what we look like after 100 days of focused fitness.

In the comments below please let me know if you like to join me on this 100 day challenge!

Bohemian Inspired Boudoir Session

Today we are going to showcase a Bohemian inspired boudoir session!

Over the past month we have showed you stlyized boudoir sessions create by Alexis K Coats with wardrobe provided by Apricot Lane of Dallas.  The hair and makeup is by Jill of #Glambition.  Each session represented something different.  Ciara with Bridal Boudoir.  Jolesa with Strength, and now we have Jenna serving use that Bohemian realness.

For Jenna we wanted to give a more sultry sexy.  Jill opted for huge crimped hair and makeup that really made her blue eyes pop.  In her first outfit Alexis dressed Jenna is a 90’s esque  full length white lace dress.  On her shoulders drapes a beautiful black embroidered kimono.  

As far as accessories go the motto was, “Too much is never enough.”  Alexis had her rocking the stone bangles and dripped crystal pendants around her neck.

However if you really want the details of what she wore be sure to check out our post on How to Style a Bridal Boudoir Shoot.  I believe this will come in handy for you regardless if you're getting married or not.

Three Things You Can Learn from Jenna

1. It’s okay to be nervous.

Jenna was really nervous about her session because she doesn’t model and has never done boudoir.  However, she did place her trust in myself and Alexis, who also models.  Alexis gave Jenna very detailed instruction to help her out and ease her fears.  She even gave her some excercises to practice at home for her next photo shoot.

2. It’s Okay to Take Control.  

Believe it or not Jenna's eyelashes are 100% organic.  She takes such good care of them and doesn’t let anyone, but herself, touch her eyelashes.  Sometimes ladies are scared to speak up, but what I liked about Jenna is what she wasn’t and was able to verbalize what she does and does not want to do.  If you don't feel comfortable or have an idea that better suits you don't be scared to speak up because your photographer wants you to feel as comfortable as possible.  

3. Listen.  

Jenna may have been nervous but you would have never noticed because she took the time and listened to us and own her photos.  Like Jolesa, Jenna listened with intent so she was able to pull off some of the mose beautiful pictures.  When you take the time and listen to your photographer about posing and how to do the poses your photos will come out amazing.  

Without further ado here are Jenna’s photos.

I hope today’s post helped you understand how to prep for your session and gave your style ideas for your next boudoir session.   

If you’re in the Dallas Fort Worth area and want to have a boudoir session please check out our investment page and contact us to schedule a time to speak regarding your session!  

In the comments below please let use know which one the two looks was your favorite?

The Best Proof of Love is Trust

Lets be honest.  If you really loved him you wouldn’t be stalking his Instagram likes, Facebook feed, or DMs.  You wouldn’t be plotting how to break into his phone.  You wouldn’t be plotting drive by to his place at midnight.  You wouldn’t have a need to do any of that if you really loved him.

Why do I say you don’t love him? In order to love someone you have to be able to trust them.  If you are really concerned about this person hurting you then chances are he will.  If he has no intention of hurting you but you keep creeping through his DM then you need to let him go because you don't trust him. 

Life is ways too dayum short to be wasted on worrying about what the next persons is doing.  If you are that worried about him messing with your heart or playing mind games with you then talk to him.  Don’t stalk him.  If you are too scared to have a conversation like this with him then you need to let him go.  

COMMUNICATION IS ESSENTIAL TO A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

What’s the point of being in a relationship with a person you feel you can’t communicate with?  Are you that scared of his reaction that it stops you from living your life?  Communication is key to a healthy relationship so if you don’t have that then you don’t have anything at all.  

To be able to communicate efficiently means you are able to trust the person with what you say and how you mean it.  This works two ways.  Not just you to him… how you react to him as well.  

KNOW WHEN TO LEAVE AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

I know way too many women who go back to men who have lied and cheated with them.  They go in and out of this relationship with the person with the same gripes they had the first, second, and third time. This is after they finally sit down and have a conversation about their needs and the person still never changes and she still never walks away.  

That’s why things don’t ever change, because you are too scared to walk away.  I don’t mean physically walk way.  I mean walk away from the drama, the life, the broken promises, the faux “I-Love-You.”  Walking away from him and all the drama he brings to the table will bring you a sense of peace.

Many times men will keep coming back to you after a breakup because he knows you will take him back. You keep taking the bait because after a day, a week, a month because you are tired of being alone or frightened that you won’t find anyone else.

CONTROL YOUR INSECURITIES

Hello ladies. These are your own insecurities getting the best of you.

That’s what it all comes back down to.  Your insecurities.  Your need.  Your want.  Your desires.  YOU!

Yet, you will keep allowing yourself to stay in a web of lies, deceit, and fairytales just to have a warm body next to you for a limited amount of hours before the whole process happens over again.  

Yet, we as women have a tendency to not take accountability for our roll in these volatile relationships.  Yes, he shouldn’t be cheating or lying.  However, when you come back to him over and over and over again do you really think he cares about your feelings?  No.  He is now at this point where he knows you, and knows that you will always be the backup plan for him.  

Yet… you still go into his phone, stalk his social media, or even drive by his place to see he’s there or not.

Is this how you really want to live your life?

Girl, gas is expensive!

Ask yourself.  What are you getting out of a relationship like this?  Ah!  I know! You’re hoping he will change… for you.  Honey, let me be perfectly honest.  Humans can be very selfish creatures by nature.  The only reason he’s going to change is for himself.  

HAVE AN HONEST CONVERSATION WITH YOURSELF

You want him to take you seriously?  How about really walking away.  Not answering the phone. Blocking him on all social media.  Not giving into the calls and text messages.  During this time you really need to be honest with yourself. Why do you keep this person around?  Why do you feel like this?  Why can't you trust him?  

If you can’t trust him.  Then you don’t love him.  You really should let him go.  Find someone who doesn't make you question them in the least bit.  

Without trust there is no relationship.

Without  trust there is no love.  

4 Awesome Ways to Present Your Boudoir Photos as a Gift

You finally got your boudoir photos back.  You have the album you purchased, the digital photos in hand, and maybe even a frame, but how do you present these beautiful gifts to your husband?  Today we have four unique ways on how to give your sexy boudoir gifts to your significant other. 

Presenting Boudoir as a Wedding Gift

I shot my sorority sister's boudoir photos as a wedding gift to her and her husband. She gave her photos to her, then fiancé at the time, in the best manner ever.   They decided that six months before thire wedding they were going to be abstinent.  On the wedding night she would give herself to him.   She said the six months was a real struggle, but they had made it.

 Well,  the week of their wedding each day she decided she would send him a boudoir photo every day to his phone until the big day.  He was so happy to get each one of those photos that he couldn’t wait to leave the reception to claim is bride!   Trust me.  I got the biggest thank you ever from both parties.  

Boudoir as a Valentine’s Day Present

Set up a scavenger hunt for your man.  Use your boudoir photos as they cards where the message can be found.   With each clue make sure each  picture becomes more and more sexy.  Have the scavenger hunt end in the bedroom where he finds you with an album and wearing the lingerie that was featured in all the photos. 

Boudoir Photos as a Birthday Present

Many people these day have huge screen TVs.  Have a slide show playing for him when he comes home that features all your beautiful photos from your boudoir session.  Don’t be in the room when he comes in.  After the slide show is complete slowly walk into the room with a small birthday cake and perhaps one of your favorite photos framed that he can keep in his room.

A Boudoir Present Just because the Day Ends in "Y"

You don’t need a reason to have a boudoir session.  Do it because you want to not because something special is about to happen.  Live life to the fullest.   Therefore give your man an unexpected surprise just because he makes you happy.

I know this is modern times and most men don’t carry around briefcases anymore, but most do carry around backpacks or messenger bags to hold their laptops for travel. I suggest buying an album and slipping it into his backpack the night before.  When he opens his bag the next day he will get the surprise of his life. 

Just make sure you know what he plans are for that day.  You don’t want him to head into a very important meeting with the CEO, CFO, or COO and your boudoir book falls open in front of everyone.  Please take his day plans into consideration to avoid any embarrassment. 

I hope that these 4 ideas help inspire you on creative ways to present your boudoir session.  No matter how you do it he will appreciate the time and effort  you put into making something special for him. 

In the comments below please let me know of any other creative ways to present your boudoir photos to your beau. 

Your Heartbeat Plays My Favorite Song, 11 Best Love Songs

Guys, if you really your lady to swoon for you then tell her this line.  I would just MELT if a man said this to me… I mean if I didn’t already know that Lil Wayne had said it first.

Today won’t be a super long post, but it will be fun.  I wanted to give you guys my top 11 favorite love songs of all time.  Why 11?  Eleven is my favorite number.  Make sure you guys click the titles of each song to listen to the tracks. I swear you will not be disappointed.

11 Best Love Songs

1.      Erykah Badu & Stephen Marley – In Love with You

2.      Maxwell – Fortunate

3.      112 – Cupid

4.      Minnie Rudolph - Loving You

5.      Janet Jackson – Anytime Anyplace

6.      Janet Jackson – Again

7.      Method Man & Mary J Blige– You’re All I Need

8.      H-Town – Knockin' the Boots

9.      Soul IV Real – Candy Rain

10.   Eagles – Hotel California

11.   Miguel – Sure Thing

In the comments sections please let me know what loves songs I should add to my playlist.





 

Dallas Boudoir Photography: Girl Ink, Tattoo Boudoir Session

One of the most common questions I get asked is if tattoos will be okay for a boudoir session.  My answer?  Tattoos are bloody awesome for boudoir sessions! Tattoos make your sessions more unique and always add a dash of edginess to all your photos. 

Ms. X has some of the best tattoos to date and they really brought an extra dose of wow to each frame.

From her dark hair and very fair skin she brought the element of fierce.  What I loved most?  The fact she was a tall girl who was not scared to rock heels.  Heels, no matter your height, always make legs look toner and taller, and make your posture look better… and that’s always a good thing. 

The makeup for Ms. X boudoir session was on point.  Again, Alessandra did the makeup.  She decided to go a little more edgy with Ms X and give her purple eyebrows and reverse ombre lips.  How cool does that look?  I have NEVER seen reverse ombre lips and Alessandra dropped the mic on it.  To see more of Alessandra’s work please visit her site at MakeupartistDFW.com or follow her on Instagram at Alessandra_MUA.

Ms. X went for a dynamic all black look. The girls all came with coordinating outfits.  Having a theme for your boudoir party is always a fun idea.  It will be great for you and your girlfriends to look back and smile. 

Ms. X wore a great outfit.  In her first look she wore a cute black crop top and skirt set.  I suggested that she add the oversized black floppy hat. The hat added a sense of glamor and fun to her photos.  However her 5 inch wedge spiked heels added the badass factor. 

Her second session she decided to go more street. She rocked a letterman jacket from Forever21 and a beautiful sheer white bra set from American Apparel. 

Her posing game was for the Gods!  This whole group was amazing because once they dropped all the fear and insecurity the ultimate fierceness came out.  If you are doing a boudoir session then leave all your insecurities outside.  It’s all about you.  No one is judging you.  The photographer is not looking at your faults.  The only goal is to make you look as beautiful as possible. 

The photographer will attempt to accomplish this through hair, makeup, styling, and posing.  The same as we did here with Ms. X. 

Without Further Ado, Ms. X

I hope you guys liked today's boudoir session! If you tattoos your should have a boudoir session!  

In the comments below let me know about any cool makeup tricks that you have wanted to try.