Always Love Yourself First

“I love you more than I love myself.”

Have you heard that phrase said before?  Have you said it?  When you said it were you pleading with someone?  Was it an intense fight?  What was the end result of that fight?

I’m going to gather that it wasn’t good and you two separated ways… or at the very least your relationship was strained for a long time.

You should never love anyone else more than you love yourself (your children excluded).  I’m speaking more of getting dangerously lost in personal relationships with people.  Rather than doing what we know is the right thing for us we sacrifice either emotionally or financially (many times both) to others who would not do the same for us. 

Loving yourself first is not selfish.  If you can’t be your own motivator, cheerleader, or inspiration then how do you expect anyone else to do that for you?

People are attracted to confidence. When you love yourself first you begin to form a confidence that people around you will take notice of.  There is a presence there that is recognized immediately.  We have all felt this type of energy from someone in our lifetime.  It’s powerful and contagious. 

When you love yourself first you begin to carry yourself differently.   You will also notice that you begin to take less shit from others, especially in personal relationships.  You will begin to be more vocal about the things that are not acceptable to you… when before you may have been shyer to voice your opinion out of fear of rejection or dismissal. 

However, when you begin loving yourself first you no longer fear the thought of rejection or dismissal.  If that person can’t see or understand your value it’s no problem for you to drop them by the wayside.  What I have learned in this life is that once you get rid of the people who don’t value you, or add value to your circle, great things begin happening in your life. You are no longer concerned with people who are only concerned with themselves.  Your energy is being redirected and because of that good energy comes into your life.  This happens because you now understand YOUR value.  You know this value because you began loving yourself first.  You can’t just like yourself.  You have to LOVE yourself.  Be honest, can you be our own best friend?  If you can’t then perhaps it’s time to start making a change in your life. 

You have to like being alone with yourself… you can’t be scared of that.  You have to be your own best friend at times, and really you should be the type of person you would want to date and marry.  Once you have those feelings about yourself then you know that you really love yourself.  Trust me.  You will find that person who sees and wants that same value and energy that you have. 

Just love yourself first. 

In the comments below let me how life changed around you when you really began loving yourself first. 

What tips can you offer others on how to love who they are more?

How to be Beautiful? Confidence is Key

What is the definition of beauty?

Dictionary.com believes that beauty is the quality present in a thing or person that gives great pleasure or deep satisfaction in the mind.

About Yareli

Late 2014 I hosted a boudoir session with a beautiful young woman named Yareli (doesn't she have the PRETTIEST name?!).  Yareli has striking eyes, a gorgeous personality, and a confidence to spare.  Her radiance was glowing at a level 10 and she couldn’t have been more excited for her boudoir session.    Our session was great!  She just jumped in an owned it.  She knew what she wanted, how she wanted it, and yet was still open to suggestion and thoughts.  

Do Boudoir for Yourself

When asked why she wanted to have a boudoir session she let me know she did it for herself.  Yareli is a beautiful full framed woman.  As a curvier woman she rejects the status quo of society’s standard of beauty.  She knows she is beautiful. She owned every single curve, every single “flaw”.   These “flaws” were actually the thing that made her so youthful and vibrant.   Due to her confidence and shape she has had no trouble finding a man that appreciates every single ounce of her. 

Yareli explained to me that she had to learn how to be more confident with her fuller size because no one was going to do that for her.  Let me tell you, her confidence shined through her photos and the last thing I notice was “the weight.”

The Problem with Defining Beauty by a Waist Size

Many young women these days see magazine covers of these “naturally perfect women”, videos girls, or female celebrities and believe, “this is what I need to do/look like to be successful in this world”.  What these women fail to realize is that most of what we see on social media, movies, and magazine covers are smoke and mirrors.  Abuse of Photoshop in the media is an unachievable illusion designed to separate people from their money in order to make them feel like this is what they need to do to achieve love and success. 

If you are a size 16 and you feel absolutely gorgeous at a size 16 don’t let Glamour Magazine's photo shopping team tell you that’s not beautiful.  As stated in the Redefine Beauty post we don’t need to validate our sex appeal by people who aren’t us. 

Interested in a Boudoir Session?

If you’re interested in a boudoir session with our talented team at Wonderland Boudoir please check out our investment page with all the different productions we can provide!  Once your done contact us to get more information or schedule a session!

Want to See More of Yareli?!

Make sure you LIKE and FOLLOW us on Facebook to see more photos from Yareli's Gallery!

Happy First Day of Spring Y’all!

In the comments below define the word "beauty" for you!

5 Reasons to Hire a Professional Makeup Artist for youR Boudoir Shoot

“Do I really need to hire a make-up artist?   I do my own make up every day.”

This is a very common question/statement I get asked from clients.

Unless you’re a professional makeup artist yourself, the answer will…

ALWAYS.  BE.  YES. 

Let me be honest with you.  When I have professional hair and make-up artist contact me to do a boudoir session with them 90% of the time they hire someone else to do it for them. 

Why? …

..Because they understand the value in hiring a professional artist.

Today I’m going to give you 6 REAL reasons why you need to hire a professional makeup artist for your boudoir session.

1.) Investment

Your boudoir session is an investment.  There aren’t many things in this life that go up in value after purchase, but a boudoir is one of them.  You paid for an amazing photographer and purchased the perfect lingerie and outfits for your session.  However, you are now considering cutting cost a little bit with hair and make-up by doing it yourself... or letting your cousin, sister, aunt (whoever) do your makeup because they do such a great job on themselves.  Doing makeup on you is not the same as doing it on someone else.  Let me tell you that paying the additional $100-$150 (depending on the boudoir studio) is well worth the price tag.

Great makeup enhances your boudoir photos.  Do you really want to take the risk of doing a reverse smokey eye and ombre lip on yourself if you have never done one before?  The day of your boudoir session is NOT the day to try your hand at applying false lashes or a makeup technique you have never done before.

I really wish I could attach photos of my clients who did their own make-up versus my girls who hired a make-up artist.  However, I do not want to put anyone on blast so I won’t do that, but there is a night and day difference between the women. 

Most boudoir studios will have in-house or contracted hair and makeup artist they can recommend to you.  These professionals have typically worked with the photographer on a long term and ongoing basis and can anticipate the photographers shooting style and perfectly incorporate that with what you are wearing to the session. 

At Wonderland Boudoir our makeup artists typically stay with us the entire length of your session.  Unlike many boudoir studios our makeup artist touches you up throughout your session to make sure you look flawless in each frame.

The last thing you want to do is love EVERYTHING about the photo EXCEPT your make-up.  You don’t want to regret doing the makeup yourself (or resenting your family member for doing a poor job).  Boudoir sessions focus A LOT on the face.  Have complete confidence in your session by hiring a professional makeup artist.  The extra $100-$150 on a makeup artist will be a drop in the bucket when it comes to gorgeous photos and peace of mind.

2.) Quality

Makeup artist invest a lot of time and money into their craft.  They research different styles and know by heart the brands that will work best for not only your skin but for the overall photos.

Also, there is a quality to their work you will not find anywhere else.  Each makeup artist develops a style and skill that they call their own.  This is called passion.  The makeup they do for you is evidence of their skill and brand.   Essentially, you are a walking billboard for them.  If you are being photographed they NEVER want to do a bad job.  That’s why they put in so much time and effort to provide you with a quality result for your boudoir session. 

 

 

3.) Professional Grade Makeup

All of the makeup artists that I have ever worked with apply high quality HD makeup for boudoir sessions.  For session such as boudoir, engagements, and weddings they use makeup that is more heavy and not for everyday use.  We aren’t talking drug store brands here.  No.  There is nothing wrong with anything you may have purchased at CVS, but if you are looking for Grade A flawless make-up your makeup artist is going to have it. 

The brands makeup artist use for boudoir sessions is built to last for all day use and under hot lights.  Professional grade makeup takes real effort to remove.  You want something that will last the entirety of your session and even later into the day.

4.) Technique

Makeup artist are professionally trained and state certified. They know what they are doing.  They have techniques that we commoners can’t do.  Keep in mind that a photo a 2D image.  This means that everything is flat in a photo.  However, professional makeup artist know tricks to make your photo 3D.  They add color, highlights, and contouring to make our cheekbones, eye, and hair pop!  Let’s not forget the blending game!  There is nothing like a makeup artist that knows how to really blend!  Blending makeup is probably the most important technique that any artist can do and it’s the one that most people who aren’t makeup artist tend to forget.

5.) Photographers Hate Photoshop

Most photographers hate Photoshop.  They much prefer to get every last detail right in camera.   Yes, makeup is one of those details.  Many clients think that Photoshop is the be all end all, but Photoshop is a tool… not an answer.  In fact the photo of Toni to the right was one were the only two things I did was remove blemishes and make the color pop. That is all.  Before arriving to the boudoir studio Toni went to a celebrity MUA in Dallas to have her makeup done.  Let me tell you, the money she paid was well worth it because not only was the makeup perfect for her outfits, eyes, and face shape it also allowed her to receive her photos back much faster because I didn’t have to take the extra time to touch anything up on her face. Who doesn’t LOVE getting their photos back sooner than anticipated?

6.) Relieves Stress

Having a professional take care of your makeup alleviates the pressure of making sure you did it right.  While this is listed as the last reason it’s actually the number one reason you should hire a makeup artist to do your makeup for a boudoir session. 

You have so much going on already… work, planning for your boudoir session, buying lingerie, and let’s not forget your personal life.  When you hire a professional makeup artist all you need to do is show up. 

I always tell my clients to create a Pinterest board as inspiration for each look they want to do.  This helps you, me, and the makeup artist because it provides a visual idea of what you want your end result to be for your session.  Since a makeup artist can’t read your mind it’s important to send a visual idea of what you are looking to accomplish.

CONCLUSION

Hiring a professional makeup artist is an investment that you need for your boudoir session.  There is a quality and technique that professional makeup artist have that most people don’t because they haven’t studied the form.  Makeup artist use expensive high quality makeup that isn’t necessary for everday use but is necessary for your boudoir session. Photographers like to use as little Photoshop as possible for your session so it’s important to make sure your makeup is right in camera to help speed up the editing process which helps you get your photos back sooner.  The most important reason you need to hire a professional makeup artist is that it leaves you stress free.

In the comments below let me know if you have anymore questions about why you should hire a professional makeup artist for your session.

Happiness is a Habit

We all go through it.  No one is immune to problems.  This life is hard.  Let’s just accept that.  No one escapes that aspect. No two people will ever have the same experience in this life.  Everyone’s paths are designed differently because everyone is on a different growing trail.  However, we can’t let the situations in this life bring us to a place where we aren’t happy.

I have gone through some really tough times.  It’s not what you’re going through that determines your happiness… it’s how you handle it.  The way you handle even the worst of it really describes who you are as person.  Whenever something happens that I feel derails me from my game plan I never look at it as a roadblock.  I see it as a blessing. 

What life has taught me so far is that not every “bad thing” that happens is really “bad.”  I have found that when things don’t go “my way” that means something better is on the horizon.  That blessing I didn’t receive… or job I didn’t get… or whatever that I wanted but could not acquire… it wasn’t designed for me.  It was meant for the person who got it.  They got it because they needed it, not me.  This philosophy wasn’t taught to me by any given person.  I learnt it though my life experiences. 

In Steve Jobs’s infamous commencement speech to the class of 2005 at Stanford University he stated, "Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.”

While I have always known this Steve Jobs stated it so simply an eloquently.  Sometimes what you are going through, no matter how hard you try to plan and make right, may go in a different direction than what you had intended.  Don’t let things not going the way you planned it in your head derail you for your goal.  I mean, you wouldn’t throw away a winning lottery ticket if the numbers weren’t in order, right?  Sometimes what you THINK you need is the last thing you WANT.  Just let go of fear, ego, and control.  These mindsets keep happiness at bay.

When you let go of fear, ego, and control happiness will ultimately come.  This happens because things always work out in the way they need to… not the way you want them to.  It may take longer… but remember it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey… and while on that journey don’t take anything for granted because the lesson that you need to learn is on that path.  You just don’t see it now because the dots aren’t clear.  Trust in yourself and in the path.  Never get upset because things didn’t go the way you had anticipated it.  There may actually be a better thing coming up that you would have missed going on the path you wanted.

 Remember to make happiness a habit. When you do that you will see how quickly life changes for the better. 

Genuine happiness attracts good things. 

HAPPY MONDAY Y’ALL!

Let me know in the comments below what habits you have that keep you happy?

7 Ways to Feel Comfortable for Your Boudoir Session

I get it!  You want to do a boudoir session, but you are scared senseless about doing one.  You want to make the plunge, but don’t know how to calm your nerves.

Never fear!  I have seven ways for you to feel more comfortable in front of the camera and in your boudoir session.

1.  Consult with your Boudoir Photographer

The number one thing you need to do before a boudoir session is consult with your potential photographer.  Don’t just go online, see beautiful photos of gorgeous women, and then pay the deposit.  You will need to CALL the photographer and SPEAK to them (if you can’t meet with them in person).  Make sure you get a good vibe from them and see if they make you feel comfortable over the phone.  Make sure you ask the photographer detailed questions.  Even ask them the questions you think are silly but have been on your mind.  The photographer shouldn’t be bothered in the least bit with your questions because this is something that is really important to you and time should be taken to accurately answer any concerns you may have.  After speaking to your photographer they should make you feel more comfortable about your pending session. 

2.   Hire a Professional Hairstylist and Makeup Artist

When booking a boudoir session hire a professional hairstylist and makeup artist (HMUA).  Don’t cut corners here!  You are already making an investment in a boudoir session just pay the extra $100-$150 (depending on the studio) for a professional HMUA.  Many women think they can do their own hair and makeup, but hair and makeup that you do for everyday life is WAY different than makeup you do for a professional shoot.  

Two quick reasons why you need to hire pros:

1. It takes the pressure off you.  It’s one less thing for you to worry about before your session.
2. HMUA use professional grade styling tools and products for studio sessions. 

You have been running around, working out, eating right, and buying clothes for this session.  The last thing you want to do is stress about how you’re going to do your own hair and makeup.  Leave it to a professional. 

3.  Get your Nails Done Before a Boudoir Session

I CANNOT tell you how many times a woman has forgotten do her nails before a session.  Now you don’t need a French manicure or color polish in general but make sure your nails have at least a clear coating on them and are cut evenly.  Bad nails can easily break a photo. 

4. Try on the Wardrobe Before Your Session

Trying on your boudoir outfits before your session will make you feel more confident.  The last thing you want to do is buy a piece of beautiful lingerie off the shelf and not try it on until your actual session.  That is just a potential recipe for disaster.  Don’t take that 50/50 chance of the piece not working out. A lot of companies will not let you return lingerie. 

Two Quick Boudoir Wardrobe Tips: 

1. If you are someone who wants to hide their tummy DO NOT purchase a simple bra and panty set. Purchase a chemise or a teddy.  If you are not 100% in love with your legs buy a garter and stocking set (which ALWAYS) looks hot. 
2. Shoes are ALWAYS important.  Make sure the heels match the lingerie.  I suggest that the heels be AT LEAST 4 inches tall.  I know, fashion hurts, but the results will be well worth the pain.

5.  Practice the Poses You Want

Practice your boudoir poses in front of the mirror before your session.  C’mon now!  Lets all be honest here!  We have all practiced modeling poses in front of the mirror.  I do it with my dog.  I mean it got so serious that my dog actually now knows how to pose in front of the camera! YES!  He will serve face with the best of them! 

Okay! LOL Back on track.  Make sure you communicate to your boudoir photographer what types of poses you really want.  I suggest emailing them a link to a Pinterest boudoir board you create as your inspiration for the boudoir session.  Having a visual idea of what YOU want from your session helps both you the photographer out. 

I know Pinterest can be a really hard place to find a cohesive set of poses that you like so I suggest checking out the Boudoir Divas 1500 poses e-book.  #YAAAAAASSSS girl 1500 poses!  What I like the most about this books is it highlights poses for  WOMEN OF EVERY SIZE!  I’m sure you can find at least one in there you like.  Check out the e-book here.  The Divas are friends of mine who also have two other detailed posing guides that I keep in my studio for my clients.  I would suggest purchasing them for your own personal collection too.  Find them HERE!

6.  Remember Why You are Doing This

Remember why you are doing this boudoir session.  What goal did you achieve that deserves such a glorious acknowledgement?

• Did you lose that final 20 pounds?
• Perhaps after a year in crossfit you want to show off your new toned body.  You didn’t deadlift for nothing now!
• Maybe you want to celebrate your woman hood with a maternity session!
• Are you celebrating a 30th, 40th, or 50th Birthday party and want to embrace your current sexiness?
• Is this going to be a sensual wedding or anniversary present that you have been secretly planning? You know he’s going to love it!

Whenever you begin to see doubt seeping through just remember why you are doing this.  Keep in mind there are plenty of women who felt exactly like you before their session.  These women came out loving the entire experience.    

7. Trust Yourself & Relax

You have to just trust yourself at this point.  You have contacted the photographer and feel confident in their work and vision for your project.  You hired a pro hair and makeup artist and trust in their ability to make you look amazing.  Your nails look fabulous.  You have picked lingerie that you tried on and practiced the poses you want in front of the mirror for the past week.  You are focused on why you are doing this.  Now you have to just trust in yourself.  Just sit back relax while getting pampered by the HMUA as you’re sipping champagne. Take comfort that you are doing something really amazing for you!

In the comments below let me know some questions you would like answer that will ease your fear of a boudoir session!

When It Rains, Look for Rainbows. When it’s Dark, Look for Stars.

 

Listen, all of us go through crappy situations.  No one gets out of this life without having to deal with something that is incredibly tragic.  It happens to all of us.  However, we can’t let situations we can’t control get the best of us.  We have to take reign of the situation and not drown in our sorrows. 

When you are going through those dark moments make sure you take the time to remember the blessings in this life.  Don’t take situations for granted (the good or the bad) because everything that you are doing and going through is bringing closer to your calling and purpose. 

While you are going through those tough times remember its okay to cry… for a little while, but you have to remember that there is always light to every situation.  Even in the hardest to accept. 

When you find that rainbow to your situation remember to share it with the world.  I promise there is someone else going through what you are going through right now that needs you as an inspiration.  Be that for someone this week. 

Happy Monday Y’all!

4 Actions I Take to Redefine Beauty

With so much illusion going on in the world I have to take steps to help make to redefine beauty in America.  The following actions I take work for me and I hope at least one, if not all, will work for you too.    

1.)    Being More than Happy with Who I Am!

I look in the mirror and I am so happy with what I see.  I find things that I love about myself that others may not like.  I appreciate my long muscular legs, high cheekbones, defined jawline, coco colored skin with gold and even undertones, tightly coiled natural hair, wide toothy grin, and my small button nose (that EVERYONE points out). I NEVER wear make-up (you’d be hard pressed to see me even rock lip balm).  This, to me, is beautiful.  While some people might find some of what I listed as “flaws” I see them as beautiful pieces of ancestry passed down to me through a perfect genetic combination. 

ACTION:

It’s important for find things beautiful about you.  What you may see as flaws others may actually envy.  Don’t use the cover of magazines for your basis for what is beautiful.  Turn to yourself and find what YOU think is beautiful. 

Not only are physical characteristics important, but so are personality traits.  I pride myself on being an even tempered nonjudgmental person.  I know that I am a good person.

Being a good person who is honest with not only the world, but with themselves, helps rebel against society’s idea of beauty.  In that growing you begin to feel more confident in whom you are as a person and your place in this life. 

2.)    I Vote with My Dollars

Voting with our dollars is the act of choosing to spend or save on products or services based on principle or ideology.  For example, I like to see a lot of movies with an all women cast or movies with people of different colors and class.  Hollywood didn’t produce a lot of Black, Asian, or Latin movies for a very long time because they didn’t feel as though the dollars were there for production.  Therefore these cultures in American had to make their own way and show Hollywood Boulevard there is real money in these demographics.  In the last five year we have seen an explosion of movies and network TV shows starring African Americans, Hispanic, and Asian Americans.  When I see a beautiful Asian woman on a cover of a magazine, I purchase it. If Zoe Saldana is on the cover of Bazaar, I’m taking it home.  Yes, I shop at Victoria’s Secret.  Why?   Because the brand LOVES women of all shapes, sizes, and colors. I mean one of their current top models is the beautiful Adrianna Lima who loves that fact that she’s Afro-Brazilian.  Yes, I am spending money with a brand that believes in embracing all facets of beauty.

ACTION

I suggest voting with your dollars too.  That’s the only way these companies get it.  What drives your passion?  What do you believe in?  Then decide appropriately how to spend your discretionary income on those products and services.

3.)    Not Airbrushing Your Size Away

Lets’ admit it.  Some photographers’ Photoshop to the next level!  I mean it’s so bad that sometimes the person in the photo doesn’t even recognize themselves.  

I also feel as though over photoshopping someone sends the wrong message. It tells the women that you weren’t pretty in the first place so I’m going to slim your waist here, thighs there, resize your jawline and make your skin about 10 shades lighter.  By that time you look at your photo you are no longer seeing yourself.  You are seeing another person’s interpretation of beauty, not your own. 

At Wonderland Boudoir we only do light airbrushing.  If you have a pimple, or course we are going to edit it out.  That pimple is not part of that every day you.  If you’re skin is blotchy… of course we are going to color correct it, but no, If you’re a size 22 I’m not going to make you a size two.  I help women achieve their desired outcome by teaching them how to pose.  I even go one step further and after our boudoir session curate the best straight out of camera pictures of you and let you see the pictures pre-color correction.  You need to see that you are beautiful straight out of camera.  Woman love that because they see they are just as beautiful, if not more, than those “women on the magazine covers.”

4.)    Mentoring Young Women, Flaws are OK

Korin love the kids (you see what I did there, right?  Okay, my 90s Hip Hop heads get it).  Girls at an early age begin to depict why they aren’t as beautiful as the girl on the magazine cover.  What she doesn’t know is that the girl on the magazine cover has been HEAVILY edited (if not had body augmentation).   I love the current trend of young celebrities fighting back the magazines abuse of Photoshop.  Let’s be honest bigger breast, smaller waist, and lighter skin it’s always the right formula for “beautiful”.  These women are tired of selling a fantasy they can’t even keep up with.  When abused, Photoshop can be a tool used to uphold unrealistic and unhealthy standards of beauty.   As a world community, we need to teach our young girls that our flaws are characteristics that help us define and distinguish what makes us different and valuable.  How do we expect our young women to love themselves when the magazines are portraying a different story?  As Lady Gaga stated in her very public response to Glamour Magazine on over photoshopping her cover, “When the covers change, the culture changes.”

ACTION

If you have a daughter teach her the value of individuality and why it’s important to know the difference between an illusion (abuse of Photoshop to sell magazines) and reality.  If you don’t have a daughter volunteer at great organizations like Girls Inc or Headstart.  Young ladies love seeing beautiful and confident women who look just like them.  It helps install confidence and a sense of importance. 

“Let us be that change that we want to see in this world.” -Ghandi

Question: Let me know in the comments below what steps are you taking (or will be taking) to redefine beauty for you.

Giveaway: Boudoir Divas 1500 Book or Poses.  Share this Post on Facebook or Retweet on Twitter using the Hashtag  #RedefineBeautyChangeTheCovers