I meant to write this post at the beginning of 2019. It was going to be a whole "New Year! New Me Thing!" However, 2019 did not start off anywhere on how I would have liked it. I mean that quite literally. Based on how my New Years Eve started, the moment that clock stroked 12 I made a deal with myself. I'm living my life with intention and happiness. I need to do what makes me happy at the end of the day.
I will be true to my thoughts, my intentions, and how I plan on manifesting them. I wrote a GPS (pretty much a vision board made into book form) of where I wanted my year to go. It lists my goals for the year and how I plan on taking action by the month to accomplish these set achievements. It was a mix of "goals" intermingled with how I was going to get there.
Why did I place the quotation marks around the word goals? Well, it's because I learned the other night (quite literally 02/20/2019) some of my goals listed are vanity goals. We can get into what a vanity goal in a later post and how I plan on correcting my thought process for 2019.
So far we have had 53 days in 2019 and each one of them has been more dramatic than the last one. I have no idea what's going on this year, but it feels like we entered into some crazy realm of where EVERYONE is doing the absolute most. Lately, I have felt like I am just a passenger on an emotional rollercoaster.
I'm over this and I'm getting off.
I can no longer be a spectator in my own life. I have absolutely no desire to be taken for a ride that I never asked to be on in the first place. I have mentally challenged myself to get out from where I'm at and live my life how I want to see it.
2019 IS THE YEAR OF CHANGE & SACRIFICE
Less than month of existing in 2019 the world has been crazy. When the Virgo Supermoon entered at zero degrees on the 21st of of February all it did was escalate the extremities in the world. It seems like everyone was effected simultaneously. Virgo did not come to take names. Since she's not playing around, nor am I. Today I'm going to discuss some changes that I'm planning on making for 2019. Hopefully, these changes help me for the rest of my life.
THINGS I'M CHANGING
Saying Goodbye to Self Doubt
Not comparing myself to others
NO MORE COMFORT ZONE
Inserting myself out the drama and focusing on me:
Placing all my Energy into my Business
Not Taking the Journey for Granted
Placing my All into EVERYTHING I do while I'm a part of the conversation
Saying Goodbye to Self Doubt
I'm not doing this shit anymore. I'm no longer going to live a life where every day I get up and I doubt every single thing that I do. I can no longer sit at my desk and hyperventilate into a bag scared that one day someone is going to find out I'm some sort of fraud and I have no idea what the hell I'm doing at my desk.
This week I woke up with the IDGAF mentality. So much has changed at work and I needed to change as well. I no longer wanted to pretend I had it all together. I don't. I was suffering in my own thoughts and challenges. This was causing me to be ineffective in my role.
In a meeting with some major heads of our department, I just came out with it. I told my CFO that I have no idea what in the world you want from my role or from me. I had to say this. I could no longer be shackled to my own insecurities.
Do you know what I learned from that meeting?